26.04.07
… seemed like a good idea at the time!
New from Ann Summers - you’ve tried the Rampant Rabbit, now treat yourselves to our new vibrator - The Armadildo!
No?
Oh well …
23.04.07
A Moose Loose Aboot This Hoose
2.30am, and I am woken from sleep by some agitated cat-based noises. Switch on light, see unusually alert moggy (Rumpole) sniffing excitedly around the bedside cabinet. Spider? Nah, she doesn’t get that worked up about spiders (much to S.’s disgust, as he figured that three cats in a house would equal zero spiders …). By this time, S. has grumpily awoken and we do much peering behind cabinet with lamp held aloft, and finally establish that we do indeed have an extra four-legged guest. So, do we leave it for Rumpole to deal with? Do we pass the baton to Holly the black cat, who is lurking under the bed waiting for her chance? Do we go and tip Elvis off his favourite sleeping spot on the couch and let him have a go (this option was discounted on the basis that Elvis is a thoroughly urban moggy and only brings home KFC, next-door’s turkey, Spam, spare ribs and the like …)? Or - do we do The Right Thing, i.e. try to catch the pesky little bugger and release it into the wild? Yes, like twits we followed that course, and S. then spent an hour with various containers, a ladle, a handkerchief and a slotted spoon (don’t ask) trying to snaffle the terrified little bugger, with two cats complaining that we never let them have any fun …
Yes, S. managed to catch it and let it out into the back garden. And, yes, our local neighbourhood owl was shouting its head off in the trees at the end of the garden, so it’s entirely possible that Mickey went from frying pan to fire …
D’you know, I came to Manchester for the nightlife, but I stayed for the wildlife …!
13.04.07
Mucus-based musing …
Apparently, the Ancient Greeks had a belief that (a) the heart is the organ that controls thinking (hmmmm - I’m sure the groin gets a word in edgewise occasionally …!) and (b) the brain is simply involved in the production of mucus. Having had the family cold back in my half of the court for over a week now, I think the buggers were on to something (actually, a toga would be very appropriate clothing for my current snotty condition). There shouldn’t be this much mucus in the universe, let alone in my poor schnozzle …
Does anyone else find this strangely worrying?
After all, if rats leave a sinking ship, then maybe the honeybees are leaving a failing planet ….
11.04.07
Urrrrgggghhh.
And urrrrgggghhh again. Memo to self - when going pace-egging, try to remember the phrase “just a half of bitter” (and then make a spirited attempt actually to use said phrase); do not let strange people with TV cameras interrogate you; if it’s been raining that morning and the urge to roll down a hill in a hail of decorated eggs comes upon you once more, do not be surprised if you spend the rest of the day wringing out your clothing and picking wet grass out of your ears, shoes and knickers. There is video footage available, and Scott over at “Everybody Laughed …” is apparently open to offers, so get your bids in!
(Oh, and when I plaintively pointed out last night that no one ever seems to want to join me in my annual roll down a hill, I got another one of Those Looks from my beloved. Which is understandable, really …).
04.04.07
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
Just realised that I really really like ‘Shine’ by Take That. Shoot me now.
As you were …
03.04.07
Things I Have Said That Have Made My Beloved Look At Me Strangely (No. 1 in a series, probably)
“It’s no good, I just can’t type in these shoes.”
****
“D’you know, I really don’t understand a word that cat says.”
****
And, whilst watching Suzi Quatro performing one of her hits on VH1:
“I’ve often wondered, was it David or Jonathan?”
“????”
“David or Jonathan? Y’know - down on Dimbleby Drive …”
“!!!!”
Yes, now I know it’s actually ‘Devilgate Drive’. I do.
Sigh …
24-Hour Party People
Well, more like 24-minute, really, but we have been leaving the house more often than usual - must be spring …!
Last Wednesday, off to the Roadhouse to see a few bands (can’t be arsed putting in links): Flash (a l’il teenage rawk band whose parents all turned up to collect them - awww), A Foreign Town (not bad), Polly Paulusma (excellent) and Alexis McLean (ditto). I would treat you to an extended and insightful review, but I’d had far too many bottles of Newkie Brown Ale to take notes, so tough. Didn’t fall over, though, so that’s a result!
And last night, we hied to the Apollo to see those inestimable Canucks, Barenaked Ladies. Brilliant gig, made even more wonderful by the support - Boothby Graffoe! (He doesn’t appear to have a website, so that link takes you to a BBC4 page …). Damn fine evening - it’s good to see artists who so plainly LOVE what they do. And S. (before he collapsed with yet another variant on our family cold) bought me a v. nice T-shirt.
Anyhow - the next excitement occurs on Easter Monday, when if you happen to be able to reach the Dusty Miller pub in Middleton town centre by about 12.00pm, you’ll be able to experience the fun and frolics (and beer and silliness) that accompanies pace-egging. It’s pagan. It’s traditional. It’s a really good laugh. Go on, you know you’re curious …!